


The Prison Visit and After... - Robert and Aaron (16th March) (canon compliant)

by BoleynC



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Drugs mention, I hope it really shines through that Robert loves Aaron in this, but I hope this doesn't, obviously, the ep felt so cold in places
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 10:56:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10333118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoleynC/pseuds/BoleynC
Summary: The prison visit from Robert's perspective and a brief glimpse at what came after.





	

**Author's Note:**

> These episodes were incredibly tough to watch but I couldn't help but start thinking about Robert's perspective leading up to what happened at the end of episode two. I thought it was worth delving into, because Robert's thought process fascinates me, and I also thought it might make what happened a little bit easier to take. 
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed this! (Maybe enjoyed it the wrong word given the circumstances, but you know what I mean)

Robert arrives at the prison as planned. He’s promised Liv he’ll keep his cool. Poor kid was panicking that he’d kick off and it would be all her fault, and Robert wants to do his best not to make life more difficult for his sister-in-law. He's grown to love her, even if she is feral, and she feels like family. Protecting her is second nature now.

The waiting seems to go on forever. There are the checks and searches, as always, and then he finally gets to sit at his assigned table in that ugly meeting room, on an uncomfortable plastic chair that’s too small for him anyway. There’s not nearly enough legroom. It’s humiliating just sitting there, so he can't imagine how it feels to be a prisoner. It’s like being a kid again. There's no control and Robert's never dealt well with that.

Robert’s surprised at his own composure as the barred doors are unlocked and the prisoners come swaggering out in single file. They all walk like that, like they want to look masculine, untouchable. It’s ridiculous and Robert wants to scoff at how stupid the whole thing is, but he knows Aaron’s been doing the same. He supposes when you’re inside, you do what you can to blend in. 

Aaron’s third in line. This time he’s not swaggering like he usually does. He’s got his hands covered in his sweater sleeves and he’s walking with a strange hunched quality, like he’s cold. He looks around him as he walks, like someone behind him’s calling his name. Robert just stays still and reminds himself of his promise to Liv. 

Aaron sits himself down and gets comfortable.

“You all right?” Robert asks, trying to keep his tone normal. 

“Yeah, sweet,” Aaron answers, still looking around him. Sweet is not an adjective that often comes from Aaron’s mouth. 

Robert takes the opportunity to scan Aaron’s face. He looks dreadful. What could have passed for eyes that were red from crying are now horribly obvious signs of drug use. It’s all starting to make sense. The long pauses on the phone, the losing track of conversations, the short responses. Everything. 

Liv was right. It’s not a surprise but it’s still a disappointment. Robert feels it settle heavily in his gut. 

Aaron catches him looking gives him a smile, baring his teeth. Robert gives a twitch of his lips in return. He needs to know how long Aaron’s going to keep this up, how long he’s going to lie to him, right to his face. 

“So what was yesterday all about?” Robert asks casually. 

Aaron frowns, like he doesn’t understand the question. 

“What?” 

“I came to see yer, and they sent me packing.” 

Aaron’s too stoned to even hide his guilty face. He’s always been a terrible liar, but now it’s painful to watch. Robert can see the thought process going through his husband’s head as he stalls for time, trying to think up some half-baked lie. 

“Oh yeah, erm, summat kicked off,” Aaron says, looking over his left shoulder again, clearly distracted. 

“What?” 

“I dunno,” Aaron slurs, shrugging his shoulders. “It was a fight, nothing to do with me.” 

Does Aaron really think he’s that stupid? Anyone could hear that slur in his voice, see the agitation written all over him. He looks ready to jump out of his skin.

“So everything’s cool?” Robert confirms, keeping his expression impassive. 

“Yeah,” Aaron agrees quickly, clearly pleased to have navigated the subject. He’s acting like Liv caught out in a lie. Not even Liv now. The old Liv, back when she hadn’t learned how to get her stories straight. 

“There’s nothing you need to tell me?” Robert pushes. 

“It’s just prison, innit? What’s there to tell?” 

Aaron could have got away with that one, but he follows it up with a deep exhale, like a person who’s afraid. 

“If there’s any kind of problem, you know I’d understand-“ Robert tries. 

Aaron has the cheek to look betrayed.

“Robert, what is this? I’m fine, stop worrying.” 

Stop worrying? Robert wants to laugh at the stupidity of that. How’s he supposed to stop worrying when his husband’s in prison? 

The old malicious Robert is raising his head. Robert can feel the bile rising. He’s starting to get angry, properly angry. Like he wants to lash out verbally. He wants to tell Aaron that if he’s going to lie, he might as well do it properly. Can’t he even get that right? 

But he thinks of Liv, and he calms himself down. He can do patient. And he loves Aaron. He knows he has to make allowances, that he has to remember that prison’s tough. 

“Aaron, I’m giving you the chance to be honest with me here," he says after a moment. 

He waits for Aaron to finally give in and tell him the truth. He really thinks it’s coming. There’s a moment where Aaron looks shifty, like it’s about to come pouring out of him, but he bites it back. Robert waits and he waits until the silence is too much to bear and Aaron won’t stop fiddling with his sweater. 

On the outside Robert is still calm, but deep down, he’s seething. He’s barely able to keep it in. He wants to grab Aaron by the shoulders and shake him. He wants to scream at his husband to wake the fuck up, god help him. 

He doesn’t do that. Instead, he tries a different tactic to reach his husband. 

“Liv’s got herself suspended,” he reveals, watching Aaron’s face. 

Aaron gives a vaguely inconvenienced sigh and shrugs again. 

“Well it was bound to happen one day,” he mumbles, damningly. 

That’s the moment where everything changes. It’s the moment when Robert snaps. 

This isn’t his husband sitting opposite him, Robert realises, feeling his stomach churn dangerously. This isn’t his husband because Aaron would care. He’d care that his kid sister was struggling. He’d do anything for Liv. Take a bullet for her, or worse. 

But this man, this _zombie_ that’s replaced his husband isn’t reacting. He’s barely paying attention. 

“Is that all you can say?” Robert demands. 

Aaron shrugs his shoulders again. 

“Well what d’ya want me to do, I’m stuck in here.” 

Robert feels like he’s slipped into some sci-fi film. Some horror movie. It’s that point in the film where you start to realise things are wrong, that nothing is as you assumed, that the people aren’t even human. Only this is real life and this is his husband. 

Robert doesn’t want to be there any more. He wants to bolt for the exit. But he won’t. Because he’s Robert Sugden, and he’s made a promise. If Aaron needs him then he’ll stay right where he is, even if it hurts him. 

“Don’t you want to know why?” Robert asks, hoping desperately that the question will change something, spark some brotherly instinct in Aaron like before.

For a moment Aaron seems to remember himself. He appears to realise how strange he’s being.

“Yeah, ‘course,” Aaron says swiftly. “Sorry, go on. What happened?” 

But Aaron’s not even looking at him. He’s still fiddling with that flaming sweater and shifting about in his chair like a pre-school kid. 

“Well what’s the point in telling you?” Robert asks. “You’re not really listening.” 

Aaron looks up, eyes narrowed. And _there’s_ the old Aaron back. Just for a second. 

“Have you just come in ‘ere to have a go at me?” Aaron demands, his focus returned. 

“No, I’ve come in here to try and sort you out,” Robert responds. 

“And what needs sorting?” 

“You tell me,” Robert demands, trying not to think about how pathetic this is, them having an argument in muted voices, not even able to shout at each other to get the tension out. 

Aaron swallows and rocks forward a little in his chair. 

“Look, I’m sorry you got turned away yesterday, but the whole prison was on lockdown.” 

This lie is better. It’s a ridiculous thing to make up, seeing as you could check the facts in two seconds flat, but it’s delivered with more conviction than his last. It’s still ruined by the way Aaron can’t hold his gaze and instead looks down at the ground. Robert knows his stuff when it comes to telling lies, and it’s basic knowledge that you keep eye contact. Aaron _knows_ this. He’s not an idiot. 

It’s just that he’s not even bothering to do this right. His heart’s not in it. 

“Was it?” Robert asks, in the same voice he uses at breakfast when Liv tries to pretend she’s not been on her phone all night talking to Gabby. 

Aaron shrugs. It’s the childishness that Robert can’t bear. Truth be told, it’s making him feel sick. 

“Then how come I was the only one that got sent home?” Robert asks. 

Aaron’s started pulling at his sweater, maybe scratching at the skin underneath. If he’s got new scars there then Robert’s going to explode. He’s got no room for sympathy if Aaron’s going to be like this. Keeping Liv afloat is taking up enough of his energy. He doesn't have compassion enough for all three of them. He's only human.

“What?” Aaron asks, playing the innocent (badly).

Robert isn’t going to let him drop this. He’s not in the mood to help Aaron out. 

“Everyone else was allowed their visit,” Robert clarifies, like he’s talking to a stupid kid. 

“Well yeah, well I… I…I… got into a bit of a barney with…a- a guard,” Aaron answers, like he’s pulling words randomly out of a hat and stringing them together. 

“Why?” 

Aaron’s losing his cool now. He knows he’s been rumbled. 

“Cause he doesn’t like me,” he mumbles, shrugging and looking agitated again. 

“Then make a complaint,” Robert suggests with forced casualness. 

“It’s not worth the hassle!” Aaron hisses, slumping back in his chair. 

“Or maybe you don’t have a leg to stand on?” Robert points out. 

Aaron frowns at him with that betrayed look on his face again. He’s got the nerve to look like _Robert’s_ the one giving _him_ a hard time. He looks like he feels sorry for himself. It’s not a good look on Aaron. 

“How much trouble are you in?” Robert asks quietly as a guard passes their table. “Do they know?” 

“Know what?” Aaron hisses back. 

“Know that you’re pumped full of drugs?” 

It comes out more flatly than Robert intends. Now it’s finally come to it, Robert finds he doesn't have the energy to be angry. He’s used all his fury up. All that’s left is a dull sense of disappointment. He’s never been disappointed in Aaron before. 

“Why are ya saying that?” Aaron demands. 

“Stop treating me like an idiot,” Robert breathes out lowly, closing his eyes as the words leave his lips. He hears his voice rumble at the end. That’s where he would have shouted if this was a normal situation. If they were at home, together, having a normal domestic row over the lid being left off the toothpaste again. 

Aaron should know that’s his warning sign. He should realise. 

“I haven’t taken anything,” Aaron says, looking him dead in the eyes. The fact he’s been able to do that means he must be partially telling the truth. 

“Yeah, maybe not today,” Robert concedes grimly. “But look at yer. Just look at yer. You’re desperate for a fix, aren’t yer?” 

“I don’t know where you’ve got that idea from.” 

Robert can’t take the lies. He finds himself closing his eyes again. It’s too painful to look at Aaron directly while he lies through his teeth. 

“Just stop it,” Robert pleads. “Liv’s told me everything.” 

At last there’s some semblance of shame on Aaron’s face. It’s the sort of horror that can’t be acted, at least not by someone like Aaron. 

“What the hell are you playing at?” Robert asks. 

Aaron can’t hide the look on his face, so instead he covers it with his hands, wiping his grubby sweater over his eyes as if to conceal himself. He can’t do that forever, though, and so he ends up crossing his arms on the table, almost hugging himself for comfort. 

“I don’t know why Liv said that.” 

“It’s probably cause she smelled it on yer,” Robert says bluntly, thinking of that poor kid coming to see her beloved brother and ending up with _this_ instead. It’s no wonder she’s been playing up. “She’s not an idiot and nor am I.” 

“I knew you’d get like this and that’s why I told her not to say anything,” Aaron mutters, eyes watering with guilt and anger. 

All Robert can think about is that Aaron asked Liv to keep that massive secret to herself. It’s disgusting. He willingly put the weight of the world on Liv’s shoulders and expected her to deal with it. 

“Don’t blame her,” Robert snaps. “She’s all over the place. She’s been drinking, she’s been hitting people… The school have completely turned their back on her.” 

 _And so have you,_ Robert thinks.

Aaron chews uselessly on his sleeve and then his fingernail, not quite able to decide what to do for the best. 

“And that’s all down to you,” Robert continues. 

“Well she’s hard as nails, she’ll be fine,” Aaron mumbles, trying to convince himself this is the case. He’s on the brink of tears but Robert doesn’t feel merciful. He needs Aaron to know what he’s doing to his sister. He needs this to stop. 

“No, she’s not,” Robert corrects him. “She’s a kid and she’s worried sick. And so am I come to that.” 

Not a word leaves Aaron’s mouth. 

“Don’t we mean anything to you?” Robert asks, surprised by how easily the question comes out, how open and hurt his own voice is when he says it. Aaron clearly hears it too, because he looks  passably contrite for a split second.

“Yeah,” Aaron breathes out. “Okay? I’m sorry.” 

“You’re supposed to be keeping your head down while I sort out your appeal, not getting off your face,” Robert says bitterly. 

Aaron looks around nervously, scared of being overheard. 

“Relax!” he hisses. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“What?” Robert says, not quite able to believe the level of denial he’s witnessing. 

“In here, everyone’s on something,” Aaron explains quickly. “Yesterday they found some stuff in my cell but it was practically nothing and I managed to convince them that it was nothing to do with me, it wasn’t mine. So everything’s fine now, they can’t prove anything.”  

Robert just stares at his husband. He can hear the words coming out of his mouth, and he can see Aaron’s lips moving, but the two things aren’t connecting. 

“What’s happened to you?” he finds himself asking. It’s one of the only uncensored things he’s said all day. 

“You’ve got no idea what it’s like in here, to be banged up!” Aaron hisses, leaning forward and baring his teeth with anger. “Cause you’ve never been banged up, which is a joke really, considering I’ve never actually killed someone-“ 

“Don’t,” Robert warns him, losing his cool for the first time. 

Aaron’s never used Katie against him before. Not since they got back together. A few times he’s held him at night, reassuring him that he’s not a bad person. That it was an accident. That it’s in the past. 

This new Aaron is dangerous. Spiteful. Robert isn't one hundred percent sure he won’t go shouting his mouth off and that scares him. 

But still Robert tries. He knows Aaron likes to push him when he's afraid. 

“You reckon you’ve got it tough?” Robert demands. “I’ve been imagining all sorts - that you got yourself beat up or something.” 

Aaron looks away, chewing his lip. 

“And all the time you’ve been off your face?” 

“You’re overreacting,” Aaron tells him.

“What?” Robert splutters yet again. 

“I told ya, it’s under control. I’m careful.” 

“So careful that your fifteen year old sister sussed you out,” Robert retorts. “You keep taking that stuff, you’re gonna get caught.” 

Aaron wipes his mouth on his sleeve. 

“Nobody in here cares-,” Aaron tries, but Robert cuts him off. 

“ _I_ do. _I_ care.” 

 _I care, you idiot!_ Robert wants to scream at the top of his lungs. _Get it through your thick skull! Pull yourself together and sort yourself out. Sort yourself out before you ruin this._

“You need to wizen up,” he tells Aaron, sounding alarmingly like his own father. “This could affect your appeal.” 

 _And all my hard work will have gone down the drain_ , he thinks. 

“Me and Liv need you home.” 

He doesn’t know why that simple, honest declaration makes Aaron angry, but it does. He sees the fire spark in his red-rimmed eyes. 

“You think I don’t want that and all?!” Aaron demands. 

“Then stop doing stuff that could get you locked up in here for years!” 

“I can’t!” Aaron spits out through gritted teeth. “You’ve got no idea.” 

“What’re you taking?” Robert asks, moving on to the next item on his mental list. He needs to know as much as possible if he's going to help Aaron through this. He can't do anything while he's being kept in the dark. 

“It’s just… Spice” 

“Just?” Robert repeats incredulously. He’s not an idiot, as he keeps telling Aaron. He watches the news. He knows what Spice can do to a person. He doesn’t want that substance anywhere near his husband. “That stuff destroys people. Stop _now._ ” 

“I can’t!” Aaron counters. “I’ve… got commitments.” 

This is ten times worse than Robert had imagined, and this was a nightmare situation to start with. 

“Don’t tell me you’re dealing,” he all but pleads. He knows about Aaron’s past. How as a kid who’d run away from home he ended up doing just that. He knows he's got form for it.

“No! Just… dropping stuff off from time to time.” 

From time to time? What the hell was that supposed to mean? 

“I don’t believe this,” Robert breathes out, looking up at the ceiling, a smile of pure disbelief forming on his lips. 

“Don’t get difficult,” Aaron tells him in an undertone. 

Robert doesn’t think he _has_ been difficult. He thinks he’s been more patient than Aaron deserves. He’s done it for Liv, and for the man he knows Aaron can be, the man he usually is. He’s spoken to his own husband like a naughty toddler, trying to get the truth out of him. He's been searched, as always, to get into this humiliating room. He’s spent every single spare moment working on Aaron’s appeal. That’s when he’s not being a parent to Liv and Noah, or doing his job, or working on Mill Cottage. He doesn’t know what else he _can_ do. He’s all out of ideas. 

“Aaron, this isn’t you-“ 

“Well it is now,” Aaron remarks darkly. He turns his face away but his eyes glance back at the last moment, like always. He’s pushing and pushing, wanting to see how far he can go, how much Robert can stand before he finally walks. 

“Seriously, never mind the risk of getting caught,” Robert tries. “You remember Holly?” 

He knows full well that Aaron remembers her, and it seems to work because he has Aaron’s attention again. 

“You keep doing that stuff, you’re gonna end up an addict. You’re already half way there.” 

Aaron starts biting at his knuckles. Robert ignores this. 

“I mean, think about it. This is just another way of self harming. I thought you were done with all that?” 

“No, this is about me doing what I need to do to get by!” Aaron hisses. “If you can’t hack that then maybe you should just do one?” 

Here it comes, more pushing. Only Robert’s losing the will to play this game. 

“I’m trying to help yer-” 

“How?” Aaron demands. “How, Robert? I’m in here on my own, I have to look after _myself._ ”

It's not supposed to be like this. They're married. Aaron shouldn't be acting like he's on his own anymore. What was the point in them tying the knot if Aaron's just going to throw it back in his face? It's like he's not taking it seriously, any of it.

“Well just think about our future,” Robert says, half talking to himself, reminding himself of the end goal of all this. A normal, happy life. Their own messed up little family. “You, me, and Liv.” 

But Aaron shakes his head, forcing the image away. It appears to mean nothing to him. 

“What use is that to me in here?” he asks coldly. “Just leave me alone.” 

Aaron gets to his feet, pushing his chair back with barely suppressed anger, and heads for the barred doors. He doesn’t once look back. Not even for a second. 

On the outside world it would have been okay. It would have been okay because Robert could have followed him. But as soon as Aaron disappears behind those bars there’s no way to get to him, no way to recapture their dynamic. 

Robert sits alone at his table, not sure what to do. He’s humiliated and afraid. But still he waits, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Aaron will change his mind before visiting time is over so it doesn’t have to end like this. 

But Aaron doesn’t. The whistle sounds after ten long minutes of waiting, and Robert is left to get up, by himself, without a husband to say goodbye to.

+++

When Robert gets back to the village he can’t kick Adam out of Mill Cottage fast enough. He needs to be alone. He needs to think. 

He’s picked up some alcohol on the way there and now he fully intends to get hammered. If it works for Liv, then it’ll sure as hell work for him. 

The mistake was walking into the bedroom. The room he and Aaron have been planning together, or at least they had until all this happened. Robert looks at each item of furniture, meticulously chosen from catalogues and department stores in York, and feels sick. 

This was supposed to be his life. _Their_ life. He’s been working tirelessly ever since Aaron went inside to make this perfect. He’s even gone with Aaron’s choice of colour scheme, just so when his sentence is over he feels at home. 

Robert sits down on the bed and takes a swig from his bottle of alcohol. It’s cheap stuff, cheap and nasty, but he doesn’t care for quality right now. All he wants is to not have to think anymore. To erase today’s memory of Aaron. 

His phone rings and he picks it up. It’s Liv calling to see how the visit went. Just seeing her photograph turns Robert’s stomach. How’s he supposed to break this to her? How’s he supposed to tell her that her brother’s gone off the deep end and that there might not be a way for him to come back? 

Robert ignores call after call from Liv, reaching instead for the bottle and drinking deeply. As he drinks, he becomes more incensed, more devastated. It’s only just really sinking in, Aaron’s words going round in his head like a nightmare. 

He can’t stop thinking about the way Aaron had looked at him before he’d got up to leave. He looked like he _hated_ him. Like he never wanted to see him again. 

The hideous truth is that Robert doesn’t love the man he saw today. Doesn’t even like him. The drug-pumped shell of a man that lied to his face over and over disgusted Robert. Repulsed him. 

It wasn’t his husband. And if this is the new Aaron, if this is how it’s going to be from now on, then Robert doesn’t have a husband. It’s as simple as that. 

He gets to his feet and starts pacing the room. He wants to call Vic, but he’s scared to tell her the truth. Most of all he wants Andy back. It’s ridiculous, he knows, after everything, but he can’t shake the feeling. He wonders where his brother is right now, if he’s safe. Andy would know what to say. He’d put things right with that straight-forward, honest, almost stupid way of his. He always knew how to put things into perspective.

But Andy’s not here, and Aaron’s not Aaron, and Vic’s his little sister. He’s got no one. 

He finds himself staring at Adam’s workbench, covered in tools, and household cleaners, and light fittings. 

 _What’s the point_ , he thinks, almost hysterically. _What’s the point in furnishing a home for a family which no longer exists?_

Why is he even kidding himself they can get past this? Why did he ever tell himself he could be better, be different, that for once in his life he could get it right? 

This is karma. It’s payback for what he did to Katie. He knows it. Aaron knows it. Aaron said as much back at the prison. He’s a murderer. It’s eating away at him all over again. 

In a sudden burst of violence Robert lunges at the workbench, sending everything crashing to the ground. Nothing shatters. It’s not satisfying enough. It’s not enough to ease the tension, to take away the pain. 

He goes for the light next, the one Adam’s got attached to a stand in the corner. And then he gives the chest of drawers a shove, watching with satisfaction as it clatters to the ground, sounding heavy and dull and like it’s caused some real damage. 

It’s still not enough. It’s not enough to be rid of Aaron. He’s still there, in his head. 

He needs him gone. He can't cope with the memories of who he was before.

And then Robert remembers. He’s not alone. Or at least, he doesn’t have to be. He’s still got options. Of course he has. He's Robert Jacob Sugden.

He’s got Rebecca. 

The thought of actually needing Rebecca makes him want to start laughing to himself. She’s always been there in the background, never quite good enough to make the cut. She didn’t ever have Chrissie’s wit, her ruthless streak, her fierce ambition. And she’s never really been anything since. Not compared to Aaron. In all honesty she's faded out to almost nothing beside Aaron's golden glow. 

He never loved Rebecca. Robert knows what it is to love someone and he knew that long before the Whites came on the scene. Robert's only been in love twice in his life and he thinks about it often. It used to serve as something of a warning. If only he'd listened, he thinks bitterly. He ruins everyone he touches. Isn't this the proof he needs?

The first person he loved is dead now, because of him. And the other might as well be. He’s lost, anyhow. Out of reach. Broken. 

But Rebecca’s not ruined yet. She’s still there, lingering, waiting for her chance in the spotlight. Well maybe now her time has come…

Robert’s half-smirking, half-grimacing as he grabs his phone. He’s feeling spiteful, malicious. He wants to _hurt_ Aaron. He wants him to know how it feels to love someone that much, that completely, and to be let down in such a hideous, devastating way.

He needs him to know how it feels to be trapped on the other side, helpless, powerless, while a nightmare scenario involving the people you love plays out, just out of your reach.

Rebecca is his ticket to that. She’s his next move. She’s Aaron’s worst fear, about to become a reality. 

Aaron might have his drugs, but Robert still has some power, some leverage. Maybe this will force him from his stupor and make him care again? Robert’s willing to do anything to crack that shell, even break Aaron’s heart. At least it’ll prove there’s still one in there to break.

The message is typed now. Robert stares at it, his finger hovering over the send button. 

_‘Are you around anywhere?’_

But he finds he can’t press that button. He’s still seeing Aaron’s face. Those red-rimmed eyes. The way he hid his hands inside his sweater sleeves. 

 _No_. He’s not going to feel sorry for him this time. Why should he? Why should he feel anything for him? His husband went away to court the day after their wedding and never came back. He’s gone. Dead. And he chose to do that to himself. He chose to leave Robert alone. He's abandoned him. He's chosen drugs over his family, over a real, tangible life. 

All this time he’s had Aaron up there on a pedestal, and now he’s come crashing down. Aaron, with the heart of gold, who couldn’t handle secrets, who was so moral that he dragged Robert out of the darkest place in his life, is now just a regular prison druggie. He’s given up. 

Robert can’t stand it. 

There’s guilt there, too, along with the rage. That maybe he should have caught it sooner. If Liv spotted it before him then what the hell was he playing at? Is he that bad at reading his own husband? Or is Aaron that good a liar? 

 _I should have kept him safe,_ Robert thinks. _It was my job. It was what I promised._

He knows he’s thinking in past tense. He doesn’t mean to. He wishes he wasn’t. 

He still loves Aaron with everything he has. But he hates him too. That’s new. It’s new and terrifying. Hating his own husband.

Robert can’t stand the feeling. It’s tearing him apart. 

He grits his teeth and presses send. 

+++

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after the episodes aired and tried to this up quickly, so please forgive any mistakes. 
> 
> Please leave me a comment because comments mean the world!
> 
> Also say hi on twitter if you like! I'm @ClaudiaBoleyn xxx


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